Paul (Christopher Kann) and his girlfriend—and town prude—Jen (Victoria Campbell) are experiencing your typical teenage relationship woes. Paul wants to get it on while Jen wants to wait for marriage. Paul’s sexual frustration isn’t the only thing that tries Jen’s nerves; his best friends, Mark (Alex Whall) and Wheezer (Adam Lipskey) aren’t much better.
Together, this fearsome quartet is left with little to do, or look forward to. With movies, drinking, and sex as their only options—minus the sex, because Jen isn’t ready—the movies and drinking get old fast. Enter Oncilla (Noel Francomano), Mark’s Goth girlfriend. A true wild child, Oncilla easily blows the minds of every man she meets on the island, because she’s different, deviant, and a snappy dresser! She’s also into the occult, which I’m sure if you asked the Wheeze, he’d say is “spooky-spooky.”
One day, Oncilla offers Mark’s friends an opportunity to break the monotony by joining her on a jaunt deep into the woods. There, she’ll use her knowledge of the occult to summon Anubis, the ancient Egyptian God of Death. Her offer is met with skepticism, but surprisingly little resistance. Before they know it, they’re traversing the poo-stained floor of the island’s wooded regions with the hopes of doing something different.
Unfortunately for them, Oncilla is no joke, and successfully manages to summon Anubis. Upon appearing, Anubis seems to be one pissed off God of Death. It is explained that once Anubis is brought to our reality, his body becomes ravaged and tortured, although I choose to believe he’s really pissed off because he’s got toilet paper for clothes, and a dog skull for a head. But that’s just my guess.
Initially safe within a circle of sand taken directly from the ancient Egyptian pyramids, the circle is soon broken sending the friends every which way. What takes place next is a blistering cat-and-mouse game, where the cat is a pissed off Egyptian God of Death, and the mice are dead meat!
D.W. Kann’s feature length directorial debut is a refreshing blast of low-budget filmmaking. D.W. prides himself on his ability to have gotten this film made for roughly one third the budget it took to make The Blair Witch Project, and he should be. Not only did he spend less money, he made a significantly better movie in the process!
The acting ranges from delightfully awful to pretty damn good. The worst performances are turned in by Alex Whall and Adam Lipskey—Mark and Wheezer, respectively—but that’s not really a bad thing. Considering this film was intended to be campy, their lack of ability fits right in. Alex Whall has a very Randal Graves vibe about him, which is cool; and if you remember, Jeff Anderson couldn’t act in Clerks either. That didn’t make his performance any less enjoyable. Noel (as Oncilla) is passable, but a little too over-the-top at times. She’s definitely got the creepy thing down, though, so kudos to her. Victoria and Christopher—as Jen and Paul, our heroic couple—succeed in hitting homers with their performances. They have good screen chemistry, and are easily believable—even if they are delivering some of the most ridiculously hilarious dialogue I’ve ever heard in any film…
Paul: I thought you wanted to?Jen: What the hell gave you that idea? Just because I let you play with my boob?
Paul: No, because you were putting the Kung Fu Grip on the wee-man!
Jen: Just because I give your wee-man a handshake doesn’t mean I’m ready to spread my legs.
It’s dialogue like this that makes me proud to be a low-budget film fan. There is no way you’ll ever hear actors deliver lines like these in big budget flicks like Wrong Turn, and do it so effortlessly.
The film does become a bit convoluted midway through, with a few lame attempts at setting up additional victims for Anubis—time that would have been better spent pursuing the wickedly cool subplot involving Oncilla, and the spirit of her dead mother. But hey, it can’t rain all the time.
As a first time feature, everyone involved with Ancient Evil 2 should take a bow. Although it’s not perfect, it succeeds in being one funny movie. Due to the ridiculousness of some of the characters, dialogue, and set in arguably the busiest woods on the planet, AE2 fails to ever be scary, but it may provide some of you not as proficient in horror cinema a jump or two.
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