Gangs of New York (2002) | Film Review

Gangs of New York is Martin Scorsese's epic tale of old New York's general thuggery. Focused on a central point of the lower end called the Five Points, we're introduced to a myriad of different gangs all with colorful names like the Plug Uglies and the Slaughterhowsers (sp). However, our focus for this feature are the Natives lead by Bill "The Butcher" Cutting (played by Daniel Day-Lewis) and the Dead Rabbits lead by Priest Vallon (played by Liam Neeson). These two clans are at war over control of the Five Points, and the war can only end when one of them is dead.

Of course, this is just a setup to our actual main story which takes place sixteen years later, when Amsterdam (played by Leonardo DiCaprio) returns from boarding school a man hellbent on avenging his father's death. I call it a stroke of genius to cast a heavyweight like Liam Neeson as Priest Vallon, given his short stay in the film. His death comes as a shock, and the reverence shown to him by Bill adds much needed layers to what could otherwise be looked at as a common antagonist.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) | Film Review

When I first saw Hellboy II: The Golden Army, I didn’t like it. Having been a big fan of the first film, my anticipation was high for the sequel. However, it didn’t take long into the film for me to start feeling a sense of unease. Hellboy II is brighter lit, the character designs are good but Hellboy looks cheaper than the first film, and the writing… oh the writing. While everything to do with Prince Nuada is dark and broody and everything I had signed up for, everything with the BPRD (Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense) was overly goofy — almost sitcomy. I didn’t like it. 

I know that humor has always had a place within the Hellboy universe, but this felt lazy — cheap. It felt like a string of gags rather than natural comedy being woven into the story. So upon this revisit, I was wondering if my original feelings would still hold weight, or if perhaps I had been too critical before.

Ancient Evil 2: Guardian of the Underworld (2005) | Film Review

(Originally published on LivingCorpse.com on March 18, 2005) - Ancient Evil 2: Guardian of the Underworld (originally titled, Anubis: Guardian of the Underworld) is an extremely low-budget horromedy about a group of apathetic teens who accidentally summon Anubis, the Egyptian God of Death, and ultimately pay for it, with their lives. However, it is not a sequel to Ancient Evil, another low-budget mummy movie. (The name was changed for distribution purposes.)

Paul (Christopher Kann) and his girlfriend—and town prude—Jen (Victoria Campbell) are experiencing your typical teenage relationship woes. Paul wants to get it on while Jen wants to wait for marriage. Paul’s sexual frustration isn’t the only thing that tries Jen’s nerves; his best friends, Mark (Alex Whall) and Wheezer (Adam Lipskey) aren’t much better.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971) | Film Review

(Originally published on LivingCorpse.com on May 5, 2005) - It’s extremely difficult for someone to label himself (or herself) a horror fan without having any knowledge of the genre’s cinematic history. Yet, with the horror explosion Hollywood has been experiencing for the last decade, there are droves of new moviegoers gravitating to the genre like never before. And, while it’s great to know this highly underrated (and often misunderstood) genre is finally getting the kind of love it deserves, I fear that this new crop of fans are only looking toward the next big studio release, rather than spending the in-between time familiarizing themselves with horror classics.

Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan’s Hope (2011) | Film Review

(Originally published on Letterboxd on August 16, 2014) - Comic-Con Episode Four: A Fan's Hope is a lazy documentary from all sizzle and no substance documentarian, Morgan Spurlock. Rather than focusing on the really interesting stuff like Mile High Comics owner, Chuck Rozanski's growing frustration with the show that has evolved into a multi-media pop culture festival, with very little attention paid to actual comic books, he focuses on geeks doing geeky things for the sake of geekdom.

Victor Frankenstein (2015) | Film Review

(First viewing via VOD) - A horrible trapeze accident leads to a chance encounter between a mad scientist and a nameless hunchback clown at the circus. When the nameless hunchback saves the woman with a pocket watch, the mad scientist decides to free the hunchback and make him apart of his grand experiments. What experiments you ask? To render death a temporary condition.

I don’t know how this one got by me back in 2015, but I have no memories of Victor Frankenstein ever coming out. So when I stumbled upon it while looking for something to watch, and noticed it featured Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter, Guns Akimbo) and James McAvoy (X-Men First Class, Split) in the lead roles, I figured it would be worth a watch. Then I  noticed it was written by Max Landis (Chronicle, Bright), and my intrigue was tainted a bit. I decided to press on thinking this would either be a pleasant surprise, or a total train wreck. In a way, Victor Frankenstein wound up being a bit of both.

Black Lotus (2023) | Film Review

(First viewing via VOD) - When a routine mission goes sideways resulting in the death of his captain and best friend, Matteo (played by Rico Verhoeven) resigns himself to a nomadic life on the move taking the occasional blue collar job. After five years, he decides it’s finally time to make amends with his friend’s wife, Helene (played by Marie Dompnier) for his guilt. Little does he know that Helene’s husband, Paul (played by Peter Franzen) a prominent banker, has being doing some shady business with local crime lord, Saban (played by Frank Grillo). After Helene’s daughter is kidnapped, it falls on Matteo to step up and save her, and hopefully, find redemption for himself in the process.

The Fall Guy (2024) | Film Review

(First viewing via VOD) - Colt Seavers is a stuntman on big budget Hollywood productions. Doubling for Hollywood A-lister, Tom Ryder, and endlessly flirting with camera woman, Jody Moreno, Colt really has it all: His dream job, and his dream girl. But after a horrible on set accident breaks his back and his spirit, he walks away from it all resigning himself to a life of car parking at a nice family owned restaurant. That is until he gets a call asking him to return to action to save his dream girl’s directorial debut.

David Leitch’s The Fall Guy is an action packed amusement park ride of a film. It’s also a love letter to Hollywood stunt people who make the action we love to watch possible. His film blends the world of cinematic action, and real life action flawlessly, with many of the stunts happening as the story plays out being more incredible than those within the fictional movie within the movie, Metalstorm. Leitch goes out of his way within The Fall Guy to call out Hollywood for its lack of recognition toward stunt workers, and I got to say, he makes a great case.

American Yakuza (1993) | Film Review

(First viewing via VOD) - Viggo Mortensen is David Brandt, an undercover FBI agent trying to infiltrate the Yakuza. Rebranded as a down on his luck ex-con named Nick Davis, he finds work as a forklift driver within a Yakuza owned warehouse. When a rival gang attempts to assassinate Yakuza leadership currently meeting at said warehouse, Brandt goes above and beyond his forklift duties by leaping into action to help defend his new employers. In the fray, he saves Shuji Sawamoto (played by Ryo Ishibashi), a high ranking member of the clan. Brandt’s actions endear him to Shuji and thus, his journey into the clan begins.

It’s easy to write off American Yakuza as just another boiler plate early 90’s low budget action film. And to be fair, it fits in nicely alongside the likes of Charlie Sheen’s Beyond the Law and other such “undercover” films. Donnie Brasco this is not.

I, Frankenstein (2014) | Film Review

(Originally published on Letterboxd on February 14, 2014) - I'm not sure what Aaron Eckhart and Bill Nighy were thinking when they signed on to star in this turd, but I hope it comes with a huge summer home, because that's the only reason I could imagine they would participate in a crime like this.

Albeit, Bill Nighy has a history of starring in turds, and I wouldn't be surprised if he thought this was just another Underworld sequel and signed on out of blind loyalty, because it sure looked and felt like it wanted to be; Aaron Eckhart is another story.

The Three Stooges (2012) | Film Review

(Originally published on Letterboxd on February 26, 2014) - I grew up with the Three Stooges. While they weren't a constant, I definitely had knowledge of them as a child, and enjoyed what I saw. Then I grew up and sort of forgot about them.

Fast forward many years later and I find myself watching a film that I can't quite wrap my brain around. Part remake, part continuation, it's both a respectful homage and yet largely unfunny. 

Justice Legaue: War (2014) | Film Review

(Originally published on Letterboxd on March 16, 2014) - DC Films might have no idea what it's doing, but DC Animation is the leader when it comes to high quality cartoon action flickage!

Justice League: War is a modernized telling of how the Justice League came into being. Brought together by a never before seen evil, the meet each other through mutual super avenging. After the "getting to know you" phase involving insults and fisticuffs, the super individuals begin to gel into a super team.

Wild Card (2015) | Film Review

(First viewing via VOD) - Wild Card is a by-the-numbers action flick starring Jason Statham as Nick Wild. Wild is a man with an extensive history of world traveling, actioneering, and apparent escapades that have made him somewhat famous. So how does a man like this end up stuck in a place like Las Vegas? He’s a degenerate gambler.

Wild Card has a paper thin plot. The majority of the film features Statham acting as a sort of Mr. Fix-It in and around Vegas. He’s the sort of guy you hire if you need to impress your lady, of if you’re looking for some extra security for a night on the town. He’s also well-respected by all, including the local mob. He stays out of their way, they stay out of his.

Carrie (2013) | Film Review

(Originally published on Letterboxd on Jan 18, 2014) - Carrie, as a horror film, has officially been made four times. One of those four is technically considered a sequel, but other than the main character being named Rachel and not Carrie, everything else is pretty much identical, so to call it anything other than a remake would be a bold-faced lie. It's not hard to see why Hollywood would go to the Carrie well so often, either; it's got a great premise: An unpopular teenage girl is tormented by her classmates, and upon learning she has telekinetic superpowers, uses them to seek revenge. And in Brian De Palma's original 1976 version, it was magnificent!

In every other version since… not so much.

Last Vegas (2013) | Film Review

(Originally published on Letterboxd on Jan 10, 2014) - What do you get when you take four well respected actors in the twilight of their careers, and cast them in an undemanding fish out of water story? You get, Last Vegas, a film so uninspired and trite, I've had to work overtime to remember enough about it so that I may write this very review.

Michael Douglas, Robert De Niro, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Kline are Billy, Paddy, Archie, and Sam (respectively), otherwise known as the Flatbush Four. When Billy, the charismatic leader of the group, decides its time to settle down and marry his hot young wife of nearly forty years his junior while in the middle of a eulogy for his bedridden bachelor friend, Ronnie, it's not long before he's calling on his longtime friends to join him in Sin City to live up his remaining days as a bachelor. Sam and Archie are immediately on board; Sam has been trapped in a Florida retirement village, surrounded by death at every turn, while Archie is treated like a child by his over-protective son after recently suffering from a stroke. They don't want a wild vacation—they need it. Paddy, a widower, is a different story, requiring a lot of coaxing from his friends before finally agreeing to go. Much of Paddy's hesitance is in relation to a unknown beef he has with Billy. 

Rio (2011) | Film Review

(Originally published on Letterboxd on Feb 11, 2014) - I didn't know what to expect from Rio. The trailers didn't look very appealing, and the cheap Angry Birds tie in only made me suspicious. So I was pretty surprised to find this little fish out of water tale to be pretty danged delightful.

The voice work is solid from all involved, with the big standout being Jemaine Clement's evil cannibalistic ex-show bird, Nigel. He just oozes sleaze, but with enough charisma to keep you engaged. Jesse Eisenberg's neurotic delivery is pitch perfect for the misplaced ground dwelling Blu. Everyone else is satisfactory. Even Will.I.Am is tolerable, which is something I never thought I'd say.

Ooga Booga (2013) | Film Review

(Originally published on Letterboxd on Feb 1, 2014) - If you looked up the definition of Ooga Booga in the totally made up film dictionary I created just now to service this opening statement, you'd likely see something like this: Ooga Booga (ooo'guh boo'guh): Racism, corrupt cops, racism, corrupt judges, racism, voodoo dolls, racism, Maddox, racism, crazy stuffed animal ladies, racism, grape slushies, racism, Siri the pornstar (not the OS), racism, that dude looks just like the Blue Meanie minus the make-up, racism, Stacey Keach's hairlip is working overtime, racism, and racism. 

Ooga Booga + Nutshell = Boom.

Fear the Night (2023) | Film Review

 

(First viewing via VOD) - A group of women throwing a bachelorette party are terrorized by a group of masked men. These men are convinced there is something of value within the house, and they will cut through everyone to get it. It’s up to ex-military and self-defense instructor, Tess (played by Maggie Q) to teach them what she can to survive the night.

I’m a fan of Maggie Q. While she’s not imposing physically, her attitude conveys a dark confidence that makes her believable on screen as a physical threat. And Fear the Night allows her to do what she does best, quip hard, and kick ass. 

Abigail (2024) | Film Review

(First viewing via VOD) - When a group of seemingly disconnected criminals are hired to kidnap a child and hold her for 24 hours for an easy $7 million dollar payday each, what could possibly go wrong? How about everything when it’s discovered not all is as it seems. And the results end up having deadly consequences.

I’ve been a fan of the directing team known as Radio Silence (Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett) for sometime. I remember first seeing their bit in the first V/H/S film, and subsequently found their YouTube channel, which I thought was a real hoot and a half. Ready or Not was a crapload of fun, and after they successfully resurrected the once thought dead Scream franchise, I consider myself to be on board for just about anything they do moving forward. Add to that the stellar cast and seeing Abigail becomes a no brainer.

Army of One (2020) | Film Review

(First viewing via VOD) - I’ve seen a lot of action movies in my day. From the biggest of budgets to the lowest of tax write-offs, and everything in between. It’s a genre that’s near and dear to my heart, because it’s a genre of film I share with my father. I have fond memories of watching cheap action movies on VHS with him after the ladies in the family went to sleep. So when it comes to action, no matter the quality, I’m always willing to give it a shot. 

Army of One is a pretty low budget action movie… and you can tell. It’s so low budget, one of the main villains named Butch sports a large black tribal tattoo on his shoulder that is clearly drawn in with what looks like sharpie markers. I mean, you could see the streaks within the tattoo. The film’s IMDb also boasts a piece of trivia that one of the one shot fight scenes in the film only took the actors one hour to rehearse, and they “nailed it” on the first take. So yeah, this is about as low budget as it gets.