Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) | Film Review

When I first saw Hellboy II: The Golden Army, I didn’t like it. Having been a big fan of the first film, my anticipation was high for the sequel. However, it didn’t take long into the film for me to start feeling a sense of unease. Hellboy II is brighter lit, the character designs are good but Hellboy looks cheaper than the first film, and the writing… oh the writing. While everything to do with Prince Nuada is dark and broody and everything I had signed up for, everything with the BPRD (Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense) was overly goofy — almost sitcomy. I didn’t like it. 

I know that humor has always had a place within the Hellboy universe, but this felt lazy — cheap. It felt like a string of gags rather than natural comedy being woven into the story. So upon this revisit, I was wondering if my original feelings would still hold weight, or if perhaps I had been too critical before.

Black Lotus (2023) | Film Review

(First viewing via VOD) - When a routine mission goes sideways resulting in the death of his captain and best friend, Matteo (played by Rico Verhoeven) resigns himself to a nomadic life on the move taking the occasional blue collar job. After five years, he decides it’s finally time to make amends with his friend’s wife, Helene (played by Marie Dompnier) for his guilt. Little does he know that Helene’s husband, Paul (played by Peter Franzen) a prominent banker, has being doing some shady business with local crime lord, Saban (played by Frank Grillo). After Helene’s daughter is kidnapped, it falls on Matteo to step up and save her, and hopefully, find redemption for himself in the process.

Last Vegas (2013) | Film Review

(Originally published on Letterboxd on Jan 10, 2014) - What do you get when you take four well respected actors in the twilight of their careers, and cast them in an undemanding fish out of water story? You get, Last Vegas, a film so uninspired and trite, I've had to work overtime to remember enough about it so that I may write this very review.

Michael Douglas, Robert De Niro, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Kline are Billy, Paddy, Archie, and Sam (respectively), otherwise known as the Flatbush Four. When Billy, the charismatic leader of the group, decides its time to settle down and marry his hot young wife of nearly forty years his junior while in the middle of a eulogy for his bedridden bachelor friend, Ronnie, it's not long before he's calling on his longtime friends to join him in Sin City to live up his remaining days as a bachelor. Sam and Archie are immediately on board; Sam has been trapped in a Florida retirement village, surrounded by death at every turn, while Archie is treated like a child by his over-protective son after recently suffering from a stroke. They don't want a wild vacation—they need it. Paddy, a widower, is a different story, requiring a lot of coaxing from his friends before finally agreeing to go. Much of Paddy's hesitance is in relation to a unknown beef he has with Billy. 

Army of One (2020) | Film Review

(First viewing via VOD) - I’ve seen a lot of action movies in my day. From the biggest of budgets to the lowest of tax write-offs, and everything in between. It’s a genre that’s near and dear to my heart, because it’s a genre of film I share with my father. I have fond memories of watching cheap action movies on VHS with him after the ladies in the family went to sleep. So when it comes to action, no matter the quality, I’m always willing to give it a shot. 

Army of One is a pretty low budget action movie… and you can tell. It’s so low budget, one of the main villains named Butch sports a large black tribal tattoo on his shoulder that is clearly drawn in with what looks like sharpie markers. I mean, you could see the streaks within the tattoo. The film’s IMDb also boasts a piece of trivia that one of the one shot fight scenes in the film only took the actors one hour to rehearse, and they “nailed it” on the first take. So yeah, this is about as low budget as it gets. 

Killer Joe (2011) | Film Review

(Originally published on Letterboxd) - When it comes to William Friedkin, you never know what kind of film going experience you're going to get. The one common thread throughout all of his work, however, is a feeling of unease. You're not safe with Friedkin. He does not have your best interests at heart. He is a bold visionary that would rather shake you up than tell a thorough story. Sometimes that quality can make for exciting experiences, and sometimes it results in Kentucky fried duds. Killer Joe is one of the latter. 

Killer Joe is Matthew McConaughey, an ice cold Texas detective who moonlights as an ice cold hitman. When he's hired by Chris Smith (Emile Hirsch), a degenerate gambler and all around low-life, things get unexpectedly complicated when Joe meets Chris's sister, Dotty (Juno Temple). Dotty's childlike innocence combined with her girl next door looks is attractive to Joe, so much so that when he finds out that Chris doesn't have the money to pay him up front, he takes Dotty as a retainer. What follows is an uneven tale of regret, idiocy, murder, and cruel and unusual acts of indecency with fried poultry.